Employees in Nigeria have to be the most special breed. A standard organisation in Nigeria consists of numerous personality types of employees. So many types, it can make your jaw drop. The meaning of the term employee is not lost when analysing the types of employees in a standard organisation in Nigeria, they are surely members of the workforce, who have specific jobs they are paid to do but they just add their extra touch. Who is an employee if they do not add their personal accent to the workplace? The employer and employee relationship is often shaped by these individual differences. The different types of employees in a workplace make up the organisation and its culture and really, what is employment without these guys.
Slay-Darshian and Slay-Ye West
The slay-darshians and slay-ye west can be found in every standard organisation in Nigeria. Without them, no ogranisation is complete. They are the type of employees that turn the workplace to fashion week, day in, day out. Apart from always looking nice, the slay kings and queens invest all their resources in their outward appearance. They’re the first to catch on to the latest trends, have the trendiest fashion pieces and even set trends. The plain fact is, they always look nice. These employees are often envied, and if there are more than one in an organisation, they envy each other.
If you are looking for the employees that make the workplace go around, it is these guys. The Gossips are loved until you are the topic of their conversation. They know every single thing that goes on within the organisation and outside of it. They see and hear all things. The gossips will tell you what happened, what they saw and add commentary as a bonus. They have a narc for telling stories. Whenever you want to know something, ask the gossip, there is an atom of truth in everything they say.
What is employment without the snitch employee? These members of staff are green snakes in the green grass. They make nice with everybody to gather information and they run to the boss to offload every detail. They have no sense of unity and they will sell you out in a heartbeat, nobody likes a snitch, and when a snitch is discovered, they are ostracized. The office snitch is similar to the informant, but they are not the same. The informant peddles information to his/her camp which could consist of the same level employees, lower or higher, whereas the snitch reports to higher levels of management.
Out of all the employees, the office thief is the biggest menace. The office thief makes everyone look over their shoulder. They spare nobody as they take whatever is not theirs. They have a narc for stealing chargers, lunches, water, and special goodies. They are never caught, but they keep taking. Your personal bag and your workspace are not left untouched either, the office thief is that employee everybody knows, but would never expect to steal. They are almost kleptomaniac, they steal for the sake of it.
The office would be boring without them. The stand-up comedians make the stress worth the while. They lighten the moods and make you smile even when it seems impossible. These employees can turn everything and anything into a punchline. They are effortlessly funny and easily the most liked employees in the organisation. They make you laugh even when they do not mean to. Their jokes will have you gasping for air.
Overzealous/ Class captains
These employees behave like founding members of the company. It is good to be dedicated, work hard and well in any organisation you find yourself, but these guys raise the bar to unbelievable levels. They are overzealous and behave just like elementary school class captains. You would think they had a share in the company the way they shoulder the burdens of the company like there is a reward attached. They are forward, and everyone finds them annoying.
Notice me/ Eye-service
The eye-service employee is the one who always wants to be in management’s good books. They do the right things only when management can see so as to be perceived a certain way. At times it is obvious. For those who do not know what eye-service means, its simply means attending to duty only when you’re being watched. At times, these actions are just to get noticed, hence such people are called ‘Notice me’. They seek attention and praises for desired parties and will do almost anything to get it.
Nonchalant/ Salary anticipators
The nonchalant employees simply do not care about their jobs. They do not care about what goes on, if someone is fired, if another is hired, they just want their pay at the end of the day. They perform their duties and other work processes in anticipation for the monthly pay at the end of the month. That is all matters to them, getting paid.
The ghost employee adds nothing to the organisation. They’re being paid for doing just nothing. They come to work to lounge around and get absolutely no work done. They are lazy, they procrastinate and are filled with excuses. It baffles everyone how they go unnoticed. They just kick their legs up and wait till the close of work. Just when they are about to get caught, they escape. Nobody really likes the ghost worker because they mock the whole process of earning a living.
Social media freak
The social media freaks haven’t always existed, they became prominent just about the same time social media gained prominence. These employees know everything about social media. Every thread, every trending topic, every joke, every update, they know it all. Their life belongs to and on the web. They cannot do without their social media, they wake up and read the daily news on their social media timelines. The social media freaks are addicted to social media and seek validation from their followers. They are always on their phone or device that grants them access to their desired platforms.